​f e a r LESS! 
 
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
 
When I was in the 9th grade, my mom and I were robbed on our back porch. The burglar not only took our shopping bags, our house keys, our purses and money, but he also took my courage and confidence. For months, I watched out the window and peeped out the door, afraid that he would come back. I would grab a catnap when I came home from school and then stay up all night. If I heard any noise in or around the house, I would jump up to look out the window. It was terrible! I was horrified! I was irritable and tired and it was all because someone had come in and taken my courage.
 
My mom told me to not focus on fear and gave me 2 Timothy 1:7 to read and memorize and recite any time I became fearful. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”. Eventually, I gained a little more courage. I was able to sleep at night and rest after a few months. But that fear never truly left me. I was always waiting on the burglar to come back to our home. However, he never came back and I wasted so many hours fearing what would come. 
 
In today’s verse, God gave Joshua the charge to move forward and take the Children of Israel into the promised land of Canaan. However, He first told Joshua, “Moses, my servant is dead” (Joshua 1:2). It was now up to Joshua to lead the people. I love that God hits Joshua with the truth, with the reality that Moses is dead, but then gives him a few unwavering promises… “I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses (Joshua 1:3); No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Joshua 1:5). Not only did God give Joshua several promises, but He also gave him a command that he repeats several times: Be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:6, 7, 9, 18). 
 
In October of 2000, Bishop Paul Morton came to Mt. Zion Baptist Church in Nashville, TN and preached from this very verse. I remember his booming voice across the pulpit quoting the scripture, “Moses, my servant is dead.” In the moment, God spoke to my spirit and whispered quietly that it was time for Sandra to take her rest. That October my mother flat lined during surgery, but I was like Hezekiah and turned my face to the wall to ask for more time (Isaiah 38:2). I was so fearful, scared and afraid to lose my mom, my best friend, my confidante, and my champion. I wasn’t like Joshua; I could not go on. I was not strong or courageous. I still suffered from anxiety and fear from that burglar who robbed us when I was in middle school 10 years earlier. I was in no way, shape or form strong enough to bury my mom. God granted my prayer request for more time.
 
God extended grace upon grace and grace (John 1:16) to our family. He granted my mom 5 more months (5 is the number of grace) of life. During those days and months, I never forgot Bishop Morton’s sermon.
 
In February of 2001, 5 months after the initial scare, the Lord welcomed my mom into Heaven. I could hear God’s voice so clear the day my mom passed away, “Sandra my servant is dead.” But just like He did for Joshua, God spoke to me time and time again to remind me to be strong and courageous. Two things that I had NEVER proclaimed to be – strong or courageous. I recall 2001 for various reasons, my mother died and only a few months later thousands would die at the hand of terrorists during the 9/11 attacks. The same fear that assaulted me when I was robbed on my porch as a child, came over me the day the towers were hit. In those moments, I remembered the scripture that my mom gave to me… God has not given us a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7).
 
My mom was my strength and my courage; but now I was given the charge to be strong and courageous. I learned in those days and months after my mother’s death the true meaning of strength and courage. I would need it as I made funeral arrangements, petitioned the court for custody of my younger sister, endured a custody battle, looked for a new job, started a career, purchased a house and started raising a 10-year-old vibrant little girl.
 
And just like He promised Joshua, God did not and has not left my side. He made me a promise and He that promised is faithful (Hebrews 10:23). Since that day I have relied and rested on Joshua 1:9 so many times. I have learned that courage is not the absence of fear but moving forward in spite of it.  
 
Today, on the 18th anniversary of 9/11 and the 18th year since my mother’s death, I encourage you to be fearLESS and fear LESS because God has got your back. Regardless of what you have faced or are facing, He promises that He will never leave you nor forsake you and that He will be with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:5; 9). Live in the Red and remember that you are loved and forgiven! 
 
 #Loved
#Forgiven
#LivingFearlessly
 

NEVERTHELESS
Luke 22:42
Saying, Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me: NEVERTHELESS, not my will, but yours be done.
Have you ever despised a job? Like really despised a job, so much that it would become mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically impossible for you to go to work everyday. I had a job that I hated for about 6 months and every day I would pray for a fender bender so that I would have an excuse to miss work. I know, sad but true. Not a major wreck, but a fender bender that would allow me to miss a few days of work, giving me a reprieve. 
My boss was a mad woman who hated Christianity and anything associated with it; my subordinates were all very young and stayed in trouble all the time. Every morning, I woke up trying to figure out how I could get out of going to work.
I was miserable. I wanted to be done and over with this job NOW. My aunt called me one day and told me she had a book for me to read. It was called The Prayer of Jesus. She told me that it would literally change my life. Anything that could change my life was welcome! She gave me the book and I remember reading the scripture above. What stood out in the scripture was the word, NEVERTHELESS. 
I decided to pray the prayer of Jesus about my job, so my prayer was “Lord, please give me another job; if there is ANYWHERE else that you would rather I would be, send me there, but NEVERTHELESS if this is where you want me to be, give me the strength to be here.” That was it. That was the prayer that I prayed over 17 years ago. 
Until I read that book and studied the verse, I really didn’t understand the prayer. Now I realize that the scripture - that prayer, allows us to see the man and the deity of Jesus Christ. The man in him, said “Father please take this cup from me”. I can’t imagine, facing death on a cross and knowing the “why” - It would create salvation, but also knowing that it would be the most painful,  humiliating price to pay for sins that you didn’t commit. And yet the deity, the savior, in an instant says, NEVERTHELESS… translated it means… In Spite Of, Yet, Though, In Any Event, Come what may, it’s not my will, but it’s your will. 
That’s a place of total surrender. Of being FULLY persuaded that come what may, it is what it is, and I will do whatever I have to do. Do you have a NEVERTHELESS situation in your life? You know where you are in a place or a position that God has called you to, but your carnal man is screaming, please take this cup away from me! Please take this burden away from me! Even though, it’s for the greater good, I just can’t do it. 
I am so happy that Jesus was real and transparent in that moment. It has taught me a valuable lesson. We all have struggles and face situations and circumstances that we just want to go away, even Jesus, the lover of our souls struggled for a brief moment with His assignment. However, it’s so significantly important to offer a NEVERTHELESS in that moment. God knows best. In my situation, He gave me another job. Literally two days after praying that prayer, I received a call for an interview and I have never looked back. With his death, Jesus created salvation. All because He offered a NEVERTHELESS prayer. 
I will never forget the day my mother died. I prayed fervently for God to save my mom and keep her on earth with me and my sister. In the quiet early morning hours of February 25, 2001, God answered, “no”, in His still sweet sovereign voice. I remember initially crying in anguish and pain, but then, like Jesus as He accepted His fate on the cross, the NEVERTHELESS prayer happened… “not my will, but yours be done.” As I sat at my mom’s bedside, I prayed that God would receive my mother’s spirit and give her soul rest. Nevertheless…
I am sure some of you are facing some NEVERTHELESS moments, seasons, circumstances and you are praying that God would remove the cup. I implore you to offer a nevertheless prayer. One thing that I do know is that God loves you. He wants you to trust him with all of your heart and lean not to your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6), and He will direct your paths. Today, lean in, trust, give God your NEVERTHELESS, and remember you are Loved and Forgiven. Live in the Red! 
#Loved
#Forgiven
#GivingGodMyNEVERTHELESS​

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death … Revelation 12:11

A friend of mine became seriously ill about a month ago and had to take off of work for three weeks. During those three weeks, she spent countless nights at the hospital, her husband filed for divorce and one of her children started on a journey of drug use. She was broken, battered and bruised in so many ways.
A few nights ago, as she prepared to return to her job, after this long break, she asked me what she was going to say to her coworkers if they asked her why she had been out. She also expressed that her anxiety was so high that she felt that she was in the midst of an anxiety attack.  I paused for a minute trying to answer, but of course, I needed more information before I could answer. So my questions were, “Why are you anxious? Because you are embarrassed? Because of what people will say? Because your ego is bruised?”
She finally admitted that she was embarrassed. Her life has taken a turn that she was not expecting and that with all of her strength and resilience, she was faltering. Well that made me happy. Why? You may ask. Because God says His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). When we decide to let go of EVERYTHING – God is free to take control. And honestly, we are not in control of anything, anyway!
A few days later, my friend returned to work. She called me on the way and asked me to pray for her. Once again, she asked me what she should say to her coworkers. I paused again, and said have you thought about telling the truth? She remained silent for it seems like a full minute. “She said you really think I should tell these people the truth? They will probably love to see how much life has beaten me down and laugh at me during this time."  She went on to say that she was well liked at her job, a leader and that her coworkers looked up to her. "How can I admit that I am at my lowest point – my health is failing, my husband is leaving me and my baby boy is on drugs?” I said, how can you not admit it. You are the perfect candidate to tell your story. Of course, her next question was WHY?
I am so glad she asked. You may be wondering the same thing. The reason lies in Revelation 12:11, we are overcome by the word of our testimony. Plainly stated, when we share our tests and trials, someone who may be experiencing the same thing, can go through it with confidence that you if can handle it, he or she can too. As a little girl, I remember being in church and people would stand up and talk about their problems and then everyone would shout, clap, and cry and then someone else would do the same. I thought it was the weirdest thing. Until I got older, experienced life and took the opportunity to stand in front of the church a few times telling people how good God has been to me.
Many of us have been blessed tremendously – we have good health, healthy children, wonderful marriages, money in the bank, great careers and the list goes on, but if we are honest, for every wonderful marriage, there have been hard days and times that you may have looked to divorce as the answer, but inevitability went through the test and came out better. For every great car, there is someone who remembers taking public transportation to work and from work for months or years; for every beautiful home, there are stories of foreclosures or bad credit that was fixed before the beautiful home could be purchased. The point is, we ALL have a story.
Life has not been without challenges for any of us. Here’s the problem, many of us, “make it” and forget to tell others about the rough patches. I get it. Who wants to remember when there was more month than there was money? Who wants to recall taking buses to work every day? However, think about how the person on the bus stop will feel if you encourage them by saying, “It won’t always be like this”. It could literally brighten a day, change someone’s perspective and ultimately encourage him/her life to keep going.

My friend pulled up to her job and said she wasn’t ready to tell her truth. No judgment here! She asked me again what she should say, I said just tell them about the parts you are comfortable with – just tell them you’ve been in the hospital, but you’re ok. She said, she would go with that. We ended the conversation with a prayer. 
Later that afternoon, she called me so excited, she said she had her story all ready to go and she was just going to say she’d had some tests run and she was fine, but she said when one of her coworkers asked, she just started talking about everything. She said she felt like she had diarrhea of the mouth; she was so afraid, but the words just kept coming and she felt free. At the end of the day, several people thanked her for sharing her journey.
I was elated for her. She saw the power of testifying! She saw the impact on others when she told her truth. And regardless of how she thought her coworkers would react, they still loved her. When it’s time and the Lord, lays it on your heart, I encourage you to testify, to “speak your truth, even if your voice shakes.” Remember you are loved and forgiven!

#Loved
#Forgiven
#Testifying  

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​A Covenant in Crisis!
Genesis 16: 8 … “I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered.

Have you ever been in a crisis - I mean a life or death crisis where everything was on the line? You had to make some tough decisions. You knew that one decision made or not made and your world would likely change forever. I feel like that’s the story of my life. I read a quote that said “We are all one decision away from a different life.” One choice can forever change the course of our lives.

In Genesis Chapter 16, Hagar, the slave of Sarai, was running. She was running from a decision that she made, but the consequence was unbearable, so she ran. She ran to get away from the known – seeking the unknown. She ran!
She was in crisis. She was hurt, disappointed and ready for her new unknown life. But as she was running she ran right into an angel of the Lord, who told her to go back and submit to her mistress. Wait? What? No… I imagine Hagar asking, “you see that I have been mistreated and you want me to go back to the very place that I have been mistreated, stay there and be content with the foolishness that made me want to run away?” And God answers… “Why yes, my child, that is what I want you to do.”

You see God had promised Sarai and Abram a child and not only that, but that their offspring would dominant the earth. However, Sarai was tired of waiting on God (that’s a“whole”nother blog post) and took matters into her own hands. She decided to have Hagar sleep with her husband, Abram, in order to conceive a child – the child of promise. The plan worked and Hagar became pregnant but she began to taunt Sarai because she was infertile. Long story, short, Sarai was upset and told Abram it was his fault. He placed Hagar in her hands and Sarai dealt with her harshly, so Hagar ran away.

Could Hagar have said no to Sarai? I’m sure. Could she just have run away when asked to sleep with another woman’s husband? I’m positive. But she stayed and complied and then when things got too far out of hand, she ran! Sounds like us, huh? Well let me make it personal. It sounds like me! Now this is the part where God’s grace can supersede any problem, situation, circumstance that we have gotten ourselves into. Aren’t you glad God can bless y(our) mess!? God, our loving father, meets Hagar in her place of wilderness. He asks her questions that He already knows the answers to; Where have you come from and Where are you going? (Genesis 16:8). Hagar replies… I am running.

Listen! I love her honesty! I love that she tells the angel of the Lord, I am running. We need to rest in our truths - rest in the place that we find ourselves in and become honest about how we came to that place. Hagar was running! Sis, are you running? Maybe from a different scenario, but running nonetheless. Perhaps you are running from your past, your grief, a husband, a job, a child. Confess to God like Hagar did that you are running. Many of us, yes I said, US, don’t want to confess because we don’t want to hear God’s answer. I was a little taken aback by the answer too. Go back! What? Wait? Huh? To that husband that I am trying to divorce; to that job that I hate? To that situation that is harsh and hard? And not only go back, but be obedient when you go back - submit. Say what? What you talking about, Willis? No sir! No ma’am! So many of us continue to run, because we don’t want to hear or obey God’s instruction.

But see God didn’t just send her back to that same place in the same way. He sends her back with covenant – with a promise that He gives directly to her, not from a prophet or medium, but from God’s mouth to her ears - the ears of a slave girl, Abram’s concubine. He says, I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count (Genesis 16:10). Have you heard that before? That is similar to the covenant that God made with Abraham (Genesis 15:5). I am so excited that in the midst of my crisis God creates covenant with me. God created covenant with a slave girl who had slept with a married man. God had a conversation with her, Himself. Are you shouting yet? Your situation is NEVER too bad, too impossible, too insurmountable for God! Take about 15 seconds to just shout right here!!!

We often try to hide from God when we have done some things that are wrong or against His will, but in Genesis 16:13, Hagar says you are the God that sees me (El roi) and she goes on to say, I have seen the one who sees me. Wow! Have you seen the one who sees you? Have you experienced the one who sees you? Do you know the one who sees you and yet still loves you? Sis, God sees that situation, that circumstance, that crisis. You don’t have to hide from Him. You can’t hide from Him! He sees you and yet just like He did with Hagar, He wants to come into covenant with you. He hasn’t forgotten you or any of the promises He’s made to you! Stop running from your problem and run to God. He’s waiting – arms wide open. Remember to Live in the RED! ~ Loved and Forgiven.
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#Loved
#Forgiven
#InCovenantwithTheCreator